Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother's Will to Survive
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- Create Date：2021-10-16 10:51:50
- Update Date：2025-09-06
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- Author：Stephanie Land
- ISBN：0316505099
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Summary
At 28， Stephanie Land’s plans of breaking free from the roots of her hometown in the Pacific Northwest to chase her dreams of attending a university and becoming a writer， were cut short when a summer fling turned into an unexpected pregnancy。 She turned to housekeeping to make ends meet， and with a tenacious grip on her dream to provide her daughter the very best life possible， Stephanie worked days and took classes online to earn a college degree， and began to write relentlessly。
Maid explores the underbelly of upper-middle class America and the reality of what it’s like to be in service to them。 “I’d become a nameless ghost，” Stephanie writes about her relationship with her clients， many of whom do not know her from any other cleaner， but who she learns plenty about。 As she begins to discover more about her clients’ lives-their sadness and love， too-she begins to find hope in her own path。
Her writing as a journalist gives voice to the "servant" worker， and those pursuing the American Dream from below the poverty line。 Maid is Stephanie’s story， but it’s not her alone。。
Maid explores the underbelly of upper-middle class America and the reality of what it’s like to be in service to them。 “I’d become a nameless ghost，” Stephanie writes about her relationship with her clients， many of whom do not know her from any other cleaner， but who she learns plenty about。 As she begins to discover more about her clients’ lives-their sadness and love， too-she begins to find hope in her own path。
Her writing as a journalist gives voice to the "servant" worker， and those pursuing the American Dream from below the poverty line。 Maid is Stephanie’s story， but it’s not her alone。。
Reviews
Ιωάννα Μπαμπέτα
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Μέτριο。 Αδύναμη πλοκή και αρκετά βαρετή θα έλεγα。 Η ηρωίδα εγωίστρια και απίστευτα επιπόλαιη。 Είμαι περίεργη πώς είναι η σειρά στο Netflix。
Meghana
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An incredibly honest， poignant memoir about emotional orphaning， motherhood and the need to be mothered， and the demeaning reality of “class prejudice: inflicted especially on manual laborers， who are often judged to be morally and intellectually inferior to those who wear suits or sit at desks。”I learned so much and have such respect for Land’s indomitable spirit。 Might check out the Netflix series soon！
Viola
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How Netflix's Maid gets to the heart of women's experiences of poverty and domestic violenceBy Jane GilmoreImage: Alex （Margaret Qualley） and her three-year-old daughter Maddy （Rylea Nevaeh Whittet） in Netflix's Maid。The thing that makes Maid stand out in an era of outstanding television is that it tells the stories of women's lives in complex， fully formed detail， writes Jane。（Netflix）I've been writing about men's violence against women， particularly the way it is often poorly depicted in media How Netflix's Maid gets to the heart of women's experiences of poverty and domestic violenceBy Jane GilmoreImage: Alex （Margaret Qualley） and her three-year-old daughter Maddy （Rylea Nevaeh Whittet） in Netflix's Maid。The thing that makes Maid stand out in an era of outstanding television is that it tells the stories of women's lives in complex， fully formed detail， writes Jane。（Netflix）I've been writing about men's violence against women， particularly the way it is often poorly depicted in media， for too many years now。So on the rare occasions when mainstream media tells women's stories well， I get dozens of messages telling me change has finally happened。My inbox exploded this week when Netflix released Maid， the 10-episode adaptation of Stephanie Land's bestselling memoir， Maid: Hard Work， Low Pay， and a Mother's Will to Survive。Maid tells the story of 23-year-old Alex （Margaret Qualley） and her three-year-old daughter Maddy， played by the almost unbearably winsome Rylea Nevaeh Whittet。Alex's attempts to escape her abusive partner， Sean （Nick Robinson） lead her into poverty， homelessness， custody hearings， work as a domestic cleaner， and conflict with her own bipolar mother （Qualley's real life mother， Andie MacDowell）。 While the series is well written and features excellent performances， the thing that makes it stand out in an era of outstanding television is that it tells the stories of women's lives in complex， fully formed detail。All the female characters have multifaceted internal worlds of fantasy and ambition for themselves and their own futures， untethered to any male characters。 It depicts women's friendships as protective， kind， and independent of their romantic entanglements with men。Family and domestic violence support services:1800 RESPECT national helpline: 1800 737 732Men's Referral Service: 1300 766 491Lifeline （24-hour crisis line）: 131 114Relationships Australia: 1300 364 277What rings true for me Alex's journey through all the spinning hoops of welfare bureaucracy， that penalises people in poverty for being poor and punishes women for leaving abusive men， is painfully recognisable。Sean's bitter self-pity over Alex leaving him because he was abusive is one of the rare depictions of the delusion of victimhood so common in violent men。 He expects her to put aside the demands of her own life to comfort his pain， while also reproving her for her actions to protect their daughter from his drunken rages。'Why didn't you just leave？': Why it's not that simpleAlex struggles with her instinctive acquiescence to his demand that she comfort and protect for him and the conflict this creates with her determination to care for herself and her daughter。It's uncomfortable watching Sean being so sure of himself and Alex so unsure， but this is the dynamic of power and control。 Both Alex and the welfare system that allegedly exists to help her assume that she is to blame for violence neither of them recognises as abusive。Maid lays bare the misogynistic myths that blame women for the poverty of their unpaid and underpaid work， and shows how such myths are inextricably linked to the stigmatisation of single mothers and the persistent victim blaming in how we think about family violence。Alex is blamed for leaving a "good man" before his violence becomes too physical。 Her friend is blamed for staying after her partner's violence explodes。 Maid stands out because it depicts women's lives from their own point of view。（Netflix）The cost of poverty is high。 Alex's car accident， a moment which might be distressing for someone with resources， becomes catastrophe when she can't afford to have it towed， fixed， or replaced。Maid also shows how poverty gives too many people power over Alex。 Her landlord refuses to clean dangerous black mould from her apartment。 A wealthy client refuses to pay her for a job。 Her ex-partner's mother slams a door in her face when she wants to see her daughter。The relentless arithmetic of poverty clicks over onscreen as Alex must choose between spending her last $20 on food or cleaning supplies for her job。 This is a reality for millions of women in both Australia and America， where Maid is set， and yet in both countries， the myth that singles mothers are lazy， avaricious and untrustworthy persists。 Alex doesn't need， or want， or wait to be saved by a good man。 She saves herself。 She doesn't suffer to teach a well-intentioned man the truth about himself。 She is her own learning experience。Her relationships with her mother， her daughter， her friends， her boss， and the women who guide her out of poverty and show her the reality of abuse are the central plot， not sidelined vignettes。 If such storytelling was more common， Maid would be a decent， but unremarkable drama。 However， such storytelling is not so common。 And Maid is not perfect at capturing all stories of domestic violence。 How could it be？Alex — white， slim， pretty， erudite， and healthy — has opportunities for escape that do not exist for so many women living the reality of her fictional life。Perhaps these things are necessary to give Alex a there-but-for-the-grace-of-privilege relatability to a Netflix audience who may never have experienced the hamster wheel of homeless， jobless isolation， but there are many other stories to tell and there is enormous power in telling them。Future series about women's lives might present a more realistic picture of motherhood。 No matter how exhausted Alex is， she almost never shows any sign of boredom， impatience， or frustration with daughter Maddy。 It's a lovely ideal， but as any working single parent will tell you， it's completely unrealistic。 Like the award-winning 2019 Netflix series Unbelievable， Maid stands out because it depicts women's lives from their own point of view。 Men exist， they matter， but they are not central to the storytelling。 Alex's experiences are common to far too many women but it's rare they are given such prominent rendering in mainstream television。 Thinking a single TV series could change the world is the ultimate wish fulfilment。 Perhaps a more realistic hope for Maid is that its success is yet more proof that women's stories are not a niche product。When it is just one more variation of thousands of nuanced depictions of women's lives， well， then we might truly say the world has changed — for the better。 Jane Gilmore is a freelance journalist， writer and author of the book FixedIt: Violence and the Representation of Women in the Media。Sourcehttps://www。abc。net。au/everyday/netfl。。。 。。。more
Meredith
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I liked this and thought parts were really insightful about how crushing poverty is （and how poverty cycles work really hard to keep folks in that cycle）。 I find the reviews on this book very interesting， too。
Bookcat88
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If you’ve ever lived on the bottom rung， wondered where the next day’s food would come from， or how you’d possibly pay the rent or an unexpected doctor bill， you will identify with this story。 Cleaning the houses of people who can afford it is mostly a job for those with no other choice。 This book is a memoir detailing the struggles of a single mother， from an abusive relationship， trying to make her way in the rigid work-for-pay world。 Low pay， long hours， long commutes and a hostile ex are the If you’ve ever lived on the bottom rung， wondered where the next day’s food would come from， or how you’d possibly pay the rent or an unexpected doctor bill， you will identify with this story。 Cleaning the houses of people who can afford it is mostly a job for those with no other choice。 This book is a memoir detailing the struggles of a single mother， from an abusive relationship， trying to make her way in the rigid work-for-pay world。 Low pay， long hours， long commutes and a hostile ex are the recipe for a tumultuous existence。 But eventually hope for a brighter future is found。 Maid: Hard Work， Low Pay & a Mother’s Will to Survive is a worthwhile read。 Well written and moving， a unique expose on a “maid’s” lifestyle。 Four stars。 。。。more
Caitlin
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The book cover described it as a combination of Educated and Nickel and Dimed which is a very apt description。 It was an engrossing and important read。 I've always known that a single parent's life is difficult， particularly those that live below the poverty line， however， this book helped me realize how frustratingly and maddeningly difficult it is。 There is no safety net in Stephanie's world - no family or friends to help when the going gets tough， and helped me feel even luckier for my life c The book cover described it as a combination of Educated and Nickel and Dimed which is a very apt description。 It was an engrossing and important read。 I've always known that a single parent's life is difficult， particularly those that live below the poverty line， however， this book helped me realize how frustratingly and maddeningly difficult it is。 There is no safety net in Stephanie's world - no family or friends to help when the going gets tough， and helped me feel even luckier for my life circumstances。 Her triumph at the end is so sweet， and I want to search for updates on her life。 。。。more
Jordan McPeake
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Could not put this down！！
Stephanie
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Blah。 So complain-y。 I’m not discounting her lived experience， but I did not love this book。 Read it because my bff recommended the series on Netflix and I wanted to read it before watching。
Alex C。
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I really enjoyed this book。 I don’t understand the negative reviews。
Amanda Howlett
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Honest， raw， and heartwrenching while at the same time a complete testament to the lengths a mother will go to in order to provide for her child。 A real look at poverty and supports; it will make you check your privilege and give you a glimpse into the struggles people face within government supports。 I'd encourage everyone to read it with an open heart and open mind。 It shifts your perspective even if you believe yourself to be a fairly open-minded person。 Honest， raw， and heartwrenching while at the same time a complete testament to the lengths a mother will go to in order to provide for her child。 A real look at poverty and supports; it will make you check your privilege and give you a glimpse into the struggles people face within government supports。 I'd encourage everyone to read it with an open heart and open mind。 It shifts your perspective even if you believe yourself to be a fairly open-minded person。 。。。more
Maureen
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Interesting read。
Shelby Molloseau
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As a general rule， I don't provide star ratings for nonfiction。I picked this up after watching the Netflix series， which I was so taken with and affected by。 There were certainly some themes there that aren't here that were more personally impactful， but I was curious how the real story compared。 I was also pleasantly surprised how many moments the two works did share， though。I very much appreciated this book and the situations it discussed。 It was， from all my experience， a severely accurate pi As a general rule， I don't provide star ratings for nonfiction。I picked this up after watching the Netflix series， which I was so taken with and affected by。 There were certainly some themes there that aren't here that were more personally impactful， but I was curious how the real story compared。 I was also pleasantly surprised how many moments the two works did share， though。I very much appreciated this book and the situations it discussed。 It was， from all my experience， a severely accurate picture of the struggle of what she was going through。I was also very moved by the way she wrote about being a mother。 。。。more
Solar
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Maid tells the story of Stephanie Land and who she is and what she aspires to be。 The story shows the struggles of being in poverty and being a single mother in a way that doesn’t beautify her consequences but instead showed readers what she was going through。 Though she is an inspiring person who around 20 years old was less fortunate and grew to be successful， at points in the book， I felt annoyed by her and felt that she was entitled。 For a lot of the book， she was complaining about her probl Maid tells the story of Stephanie Land and who she is and what she aspires to be。 The story shows the struggles of being in poverty and being a single mother in a way that doesn’t beautify her consequences but instead showed readers what she was going through。 Though she is an inspiring person who around 20 years old was less fortunate and grew to be successful， at points in the book， I felt annoyed by her and felt that she was entitled。 For a lot of the book， she was complaining about her problems and the book spends a lot of time describing her experiences of being a maid， which though I do applaud how descriptive it was， it was almost exhausting trying to get through it。 （Page 131） "I work 25 hours a week as a professional cleaner， but it's not enough to pay the bills。" This sentence didn’t stand right to me because even if one was a college-educated person who had a full-time job， working 25 hours a week wouldn't suffice for a living wage， on top of the underpaid job of a cleaner。 In one of the earlier chapters， Land writes about her going to lunch with her mother and stepfather。 Despite not having enough money， she orders a burger which cost more than her savings， the tone in her writing makes it seem as if she expects her mother to help her with this in which her stepfather reacts with indifference。 But with the challenges put on her， you can't help but feel bad for her because of the steps she had to take to get to wherever she is now。 。。。more
Jeanne
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As I read Maid， I kept wanting to believe that I am one of the good guys （e。g。， paying well， knowing the names of people working for me and treating them well， recognizing contextual factors contributing to a person's problems）。 I am， but this memoir – and Evicted， Our Kids， and To the End of June should be required reading for those of us who have people working in our homes， go to restaurants， work with the working poor， or live in this world。Maid describes the soul-sapping struggles derived f As I read Maid， I kept wanting to believe that I am one of the good guys （e。g。， paying well， knowing the names of people working for me and treating them well， recognizing contextual factors contributing to a person's problems）。 I am， but this memoir – and Evicted， Our Kids， and To the End of June should be required reading for those of us who have people working in our homes， go to restaurants， work with the working poor， or live in this world。Maid describes the soul-sapping struggles derived from the deadly duo， poverty and single parenting。 Stephanie Land concretely details the daily frustrations that come from living without a safety net， the ways in which our society is designed （intentionally？ unconsciously？） to keep people mired in poverty， the bureaucracy that is supposed to "help" but which is often unimaginably slow and complex， and the biased attitudes toward poor people that often raise their heads in political discussions， "humor，" and gossip。 Maid is a book about oppression and privilege， the ways that Land is repeatedly beaten down， but also the ways that the privileged don't even recognize their privilege – and how money may reduce stress， but not buy happiness。 Land did not discuss the layers of privilege that she had because of her race and childhood social class。 Land escaped the trap she found herself in， but could a dark-skinned American have done so as easily？ And it wasn't easy。 J。 D。 Vance （Hillbilly Elegy） would argue that anyone could do what she – and he – did。 It is easier and more pleasant to believe that our successes were well-earned by our hard work and to dismiss the importance of the help we received along the way。Bottom line， Maid is about temporary poverty。 Land's father and grandfather， at least， currently had few financial resources and were unable to provide her a reliable safety net， but she grew up in the suburbs and her mother earned her masters。 Although Land's view of the future was often foreshortened by the daily trials she faced， she knew that things could be and have been different。 She is also privileged， relative to many people who are poor， to be bright， talented， energetic， generally healthy， and able to "pass" as better off than she was。 Her mental health problems seem to be relatively recent and the product of domestic violence rather than long-standing and pervasive issues。 She was able to work and function even during periods of significant anxiety。Land was paid for about 25 hours per week at about $9 per hour without benefits。 She would have worked more if her body would have allowed her and if she did not have to commute from one house to another。 For the sake of argument， 40 hrs/week at $10/week – assuming no sick days， no snow days， and no vacations – is $20，800 per year。 。。。more
Janet Hildebrandt
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Much better than the Netflix series， which didn't really interest me！ Much better than the Netflix series， which didn't really interest me！ 。。。more
Joanne
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4。5 starsThis was a quick read and I absolutely loved this book。 I haven't seen the Netflix series yet and I almost don't want to watch it because I pictured this whole book in my head a certain way。 I saw some pictures online of the author and her daughter and I think I'm happy just having those images in my head。 I was really able to empathize with Stephanie Land and I'm so happy that things have gotten better for her。 4。5 starsThis was a quick read and I absolutely loved this book。 I haven't seen the Netflix series yet and I almost don't want to watch it because I pictured this whole book in my head a certain way。 I saw some pictures online of the author and her daughter and I think I'm happy just having those images in my head。 I was really able to empathize with Stephanie Land and I'm so happy that things have gotten better for her。 。。。more
Carissa Jensen
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This book opened my eyes a bit to what living in poverty really means。 There is more to it then I ever imagined。 That being said it skips around a lot which can make it confusing to try and follow and read。 Overall I enjoyed the "storyline" and seeing Stephanie take a chance on herself and Mia to have a better life。 This book opened my eyes a bit to what living in poverty really means。 There is more to it then I ever imagined。 That being said it skips around a lot which can make it confusing to try and follow and read。 Overall I enjoyed the "storyline" and seeing Stephanie take a chance on herself and Mia to have a better life。 。。。more
Sally A Youngblood
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An honest look at single motherhood for far too manyA well written memoir that bore strong similarities to my history as a single mother trying to escape the cycle of poverty/abuse。 Hopefully if enough people read this they will be moved to help make necessary changes in our attitudes towards others， the inadequacy and absurdity of our government safety nets， and the rampant misogyny that pervades our culture victimizing women and children。
Marie
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Wow 5 stars out of respect。 Also well written。
srharmon
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I can never rate people’s memoirs。 It’s so brave to make yourself so vulnerable。 I just can’t imagine the struggles she endured。
Sally Trabulsi
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Amazing book that will educate you on what it means to be a single mother， abused by a husband and with no other family to help and no resources to speak of。 Just navigating available （governmental） sources of help is about as daunting a prospect as one could think of。 This book served as the inspiration for the Netflix series "Maid，" which was also good。 Amazing book that will educate you on what it means to be a single mother， abused by a husband and with no other family to help and no resources to speak of。 Just navigating available （governmental） sources of help is about as daunting a prospect as one could think of。 This book served as the inspiration for the Netflix series "Maid，" which was also good。 。。。more
Barbara Koefod
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Very inspiring and a cathartic look at toxic relationships--the toll they exact and the lengths to which Land went to win her freedom from toxicity。 Honest glimpse into the challenges and compromises of single parenting and poverty level living。
Aimee Truchan
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This memoir depicts the struggles of a poor， single mother。 I don't find it easy to be critical of someone's personal story， particularly when I read some of the judgmental commentary in the review about this woman's life choices - she isn't asking us to decide if they are right or wrong， she is merely telling her story。 I would have liked Land to take us deeper into her thoughts and feelings as the story evolved。 I also would have found it more interesting if she provided better detail around h This memoir depicts the struggles of a poor， single mother。 I don't find it easy to be critical of someone's personal story， particularly when I read some of the judgmental commentary in the review about this woman's life choices - she isn't asking us to decide if they are right or wrong， she is merely telling her story。 I would have liked Land to take us deeper into her thoughts and feelings as the story evolved。 I also would have found it more interesting if she provided better detail around her interactions with other people， including those she worked for， even if it was only her perception of who they were。 Also presented very little back story on her family （which seems to vary greatly in the new Netflix series）。 。。。more
Grace Hoffmann
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very engrossing and well written。 I sort of wondered about her reliability as a narrator， but at the same time， I felt really sorry for her。 Not having parents to help you at all is very tough。 I am very happy for her that she got this book published and now it's a Netflix （？） series。 Good for her。 It's well worth reading。 very engrossing and well written。 I sort of wondered about her reliability as a narrator， but at the same time， I felt really sorry for her。 Not having parents to help you at all is very tough。 I am very happy for her that she got this book published and now it's a Netflix （？） series。 Good for her。 It's well worth reading。 。。。more
Elle
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After reading this， I'm a little disappointed in the Netflix mini-series based on it。The series added so much drama， and domestic violence， poverty， and the issues surrounding both of these issues are horrific enough that they don't need any extra dramatisation。 Stephanie Land is an inspiration。 I am once again horrified at the United States of America， and the systems they have in place that are supposed to help people， yet keep them trapped in cycles of abuse and poverty。 I am also once again After reading this， I'm a little disappointed in the Netflix mini-series based on it。The series added so much drama， and domestic violence， poverty， and the issues surrounding both of these issues are horrific enough that they don't need any extra dramatisation。 Stephanie Land is an inspiration。 I am once again horrified at the United States of America， and the systems they have in place that are supposed to help people， yet keep them trapped in cycles of abuse and poverty。 I am also once again very， very grateful for the fact that when I left an abusive relationship， I only had my cats to worry about， not a whole other human being。I hope she's still doing well， and I definitely will be looking into more of her work。 。。。more
Liran Weizman
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An excellent book- “Trust your strength”
Jackie Burns
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Loved this life account。Being a single parent left in poverty by divorce， I related very much to the feelings of raising a child on your own and wanting better for them。 I ， unlike Stephanie ， had family。
Erin Quinney
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I wrote a big rant， mostly about the negative reviews， but then deleted it。 I was a little annoyed by the ignorant assumptions of some people in their reviews。 I got a little snarky and meandering。 I deleted it。 "You're welcome！" I think this is a decent memoir。 I wanted to know a few more details。 Parts of this book made me angry。 Like， really angry。 Poverty is difficult enough without people being jerks。 I wrote a big rant， mostly about the negative reviews， but then deleted it。 I was a little annoyed by the ignorant assumptions of some people in their reviews。 I got a little snarky and meandering。 I deleted it。 "You're welcome！" I think this is a decent memoir。 I wanted to know a few more details。 Parts of this book made me angry。 Like， really angry。 Poverty is difficult enough without people being jerks。 。。。more
Candy Becker
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Well written and good story about a single mother who took jobs as a maid to provide for her young daughter。 Eye opening and heartfelt。
Jenna Hastwell
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